Yakfotcan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced spider.

Yakfotcan created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakfotcan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yakfotcan, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yakfotcan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Yakfotcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed carrots to birds while wearing purple rings.