Dumripflab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable lizard.

Dumripflab created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumripflab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dumripflab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Dumripflab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dumripflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing red stockings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Never feed apples to ducks while wearing cyan coats.

5. Worship no other gods but Dumripflab.