Nutcudzan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous badger.

Nutcudzan created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutcudzan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nutcudzan, she will turn you into a rat.

Nutcudzan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nutcudzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Retreat if seven badgers approach from the east.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never paint your feet magenta.

5. Always look after injured ants.