Stafmidbig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, confident jellyfish.

Stafmidbig created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafmidbig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stafmidbig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Stafmidbig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Stafmidbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not keep nine sharks in a large pit.

4. Never think ill of sick mice.

5. Fast once a month.