Bitpanpak is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, cheerful bee.

Bitpanpak created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Bitpanpak, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bitpanpak, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bitpanpak's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bitpanpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Always store garlic above ground.

5. Do not wear green clothing.