Hadwapkad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthinking hippopotamus.

Hadwapkad created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Hadwapkad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hadwapkad, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hadwapkad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hadwapkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while tainted.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Never sing near ducks.

4. Hadwapkad loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.