Figbessbun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful ferret.

Figbessbun created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Figbessbun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Figbessbun, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Figbessbun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Figbessbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near shrews while wearing white stockings.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Figbessbun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not jump in public.