Begpogmis is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, effective manatee.

Begpogmis created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begpogmis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Begpogmis, he will not care at all.

Begpogmis' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Begpogmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Never laugh in the presence of voles.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.