Riprigjinmon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, stupid beaver.

Riprigjinmon created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riprigjinmon, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Riprigjinmon, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Riprigjinmon's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Riprigjinmon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always obey Riprigjinmon's priests.