Jamzakjat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy troll.

Jamzakjat created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamzakjat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamzakjat, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jamzakjat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jamzakjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Jamzakjat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.