Bitbonkcud is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered deer.

Bitbonkcud created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitbonkcud, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bitbonkcud, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bitbonkcud's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bitbonkcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

2. Always remove trousers before touching titanium.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always look after injured birds.