Flowsandlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful faun.

Flowsandlarp created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Flowsandlarp, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flowsandlarp, he will ignore you.

Flowsandlarp's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flowsandlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Run away if three snakes approach from the east.

3. You must love Flowsandlarp.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about fire.