Nurlensan Habtindob is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, grumpy weasel.

Nurlensan Habtindob created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlensan Habtindob, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurlensan Habtindob, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nurlensan Habtindob's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nurlensan Habtindob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three tortoises in a large pit.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to dogs while wearing orange tights.

5. Never run near doves.