Donlipquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust hyena.

Donlipquaf created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Donlipquaf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Donlipquaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Donlipquaf's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Donlipquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Donlipquaf in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not place coconuts upon stone.

3. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

4. Always act with humility.

5. Never approach rivers carrying wood.