Padluncar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane troll.

Padluncar created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padluncar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Padluncar, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Padluncar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Padluncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near horses while wearing violet coats.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not eat lentils.