Baplamhim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, proud fairy.

Baplamhim created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baplamhim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Baplamhim, she will turn you into a mole.

Baplamhim's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Baplamhim's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the east.

2. Never travel toward the north during winter.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near seals while wearing pink coats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.