Begwikvog is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fast rhinoceros.

Begwikvog created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begwikvog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Begwikvog, she will turn you into a frog.

Begwikvog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Begwikvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.