Mettarzan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty salamander.

Mettarzan created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mettarzan, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Mettarzan, she will make you grow a tail.

Mettarzan's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Mettarzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.