Cettiftarpfit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking goose.

Cettiftarpfit created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cettiftarpfit, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cettiftarpfit, he will not invite you to parties.

Cettiftarpfit's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Cettiftarpfit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

2. Always look after injured geese.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never look at stars.