Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome crab.

Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Zogyamteenwig Dunstragzod on top of all buildings.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Do not listen to music.