Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, loving octopus.

Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vilbomlagbonksomrapcendud Tinwapcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Never wear ear rings.