Hotcussgam is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical penguin.

Hotcussgam created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotcussgam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hotcussgam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hotcussgam's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hotcussgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Hotcussgam loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Do not prepare bread while wearing shoes.

5. Never wear yellow shorts.