Cinarfpan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable wombat.

Cinarfpan created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinarfpan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cinarfpan, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cinarfpan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cinarfpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Always help sheep.

4. Never adorn your head with orange markings.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.