Joplopnat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast cow.

Joplopnat created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Joplopnat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Joplopnat, she will turn you into a slug.

Joplopnat's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Joplopnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.