Kikpagdin Armcitpak is a god.

She takes the form of a small, conceited ant.

Kikpagdin Armcitpak created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Kikpagdin Armcitpak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kikpagdin Armcitpak, she will turn you into a worm.

Kikpagdin Armcitpak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kikpagdin Armcitpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt bats.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Hide from fawn geese for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.