Fempigwee is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate jellyfish.

Fempigwee created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fempigwee, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fempigwee, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fempigwee's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fempigwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Do not take Fempigwee's name in vain.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.