Bastmipmit is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous zebra.

Bastmipmit created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmipmit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bastmipmit, she will turn you into a duck.

Bastmipmit's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bastmipmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.