Lagsiscuss is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, wise wombat.

Lagsiscuss created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagsiscuss, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lagsiscuss, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lagsiscuss' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lagsiscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Put Lagsiscuss first in all things.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing turquoise stockings.

4. Do not wear corsets marked with red.

5. Do not consume spinach at dawn.