Lopdumlib is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate beaver.

Lopdumlib created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopdumlib, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lopdumlib, she will not invite you to parties.

Lopdumlib's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Lopdumlib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Always remove scarves before touching platinum.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.