Babstantettipogwitfig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful grasshopper.

Babstantettipogwitfig created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Babstantettipogwitfig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Babstantettipogwitfig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Babstantettipogwitfig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Babstantettipogwitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet shrews for they are unholy.

2. Never chant while facing east.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not study cell theory on holy days.