Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable squirrel.

Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide from cyan porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Japmotrutt Rapwabyarl.

5. Never run in holy places.