Cat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless wasp.

Cat created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cat, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Cat.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Cat loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.