Lopbisshiv is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless duck.

Lopbisshiv created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopbisshiv, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lopbisshiv, it will send minions to preach to you.

Lopbisshiv's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lopbisshiv's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Never prepare peanuts during summer.

3. Never touch ash while blessed.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.