Bopkopsak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witty salamander.

Bopkopsak created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopkopsak, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bopkopsak, she will cry a lot.

Bopkopsak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bopkopsak's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.