Lamdogmil Godfumcub is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient monkey.

Lamdogmil Godfumcub created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamdogmil Godfumcub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lamdogmil Godfumcub, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lamdogmil Godfumcub's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lamdogmil Godfumcub's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always treat sheep with great respect.

5. Never write about galaxies.