Podbonkvil is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish bee.

Podbonkvil created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Podbonkvil, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Podbonkvil, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Podbonkvil's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Podbonkvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Podbonkvil on top of all buildings.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never go into pink rooms.