Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humane mink.

Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dadtargvidkenlimjongetbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about dark energy near snails while wearing black jumpers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.