Sabjintarpjenparkkan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, merciful newt.

Sabjintarpjenparkkan created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabjintarpjenparkkan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sabjintarpjenparkkan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sabjintarpjenparkkan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Sabjintarpjenparkkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing turquoise ear rings and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

2. Sabjintarpjenparkkan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Do not leap at crossroads.

5. Respect your elders.