Ganyikfum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witty yak.

Ganyikfum created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Ganyikfum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ganyikfum, he will ignore you.

Ganyikfum's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ganyikfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise boots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Ganyikfum.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.