Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unselfish duck.

Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand, she will think nothing of it.

Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Zigbusvigbidlamhivkansand's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed spinach to bats while wearing indigo skirts.