Latrenmum is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional goblin.

Latrenmum created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Latrenmum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Latrenmum, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Latrenmum's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Latrenmum's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never remain standing during midday.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always count to four before jump.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.