Wadzodmonzan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, astonishing crocodile.

Wadzodmonzan created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wadzodmonzan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wadzodmonzan, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wadzodmonzan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Wadzodmonzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near great tits.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never feed corn to pigs while wearing brown ear rings.

4. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

5. Wadzodmonzan must be the most important thing in your life.