Padfedkad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, stupid fly.

Padfedkad created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Padfedkad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Padfedkad, it will turn you into a goat.

Padfedkad's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Padfedkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill doves.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Padfedkad loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never leap in the presence of turtles.