Tarplabpit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful squirrel.

Tarplabpit created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarplabpit, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarplabpit, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Tarplabpit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tarplabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

5. Run away if five shrews approach from the south.