Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, staggering manatee.

Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig, she will turn you into a slug.

Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Japbugbitlargmannutwiksig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about limes.