Mapdav Manxuckwaddid is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, astonishing tapir.

Mapdav Manxuckwaddid created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapdav Manxuckwaddid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapdav Manxuckwaddid, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mapdav Manxuckwaddid's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Mapdav Manxuckwaddid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Mapdav Manxuckwaddid loves doves, so they must be respected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.