Jabyartlibfon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful donkey.

Jabyartlibfon created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabyartlibfon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jabyartlibfon, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jabyartlibfon's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jabyartlibfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Jabyartlibfon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Jabyartlibfon loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.