Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow monkey.

Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit, she will send minions to preach to you.

Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tailfubbon Tapnilxucbemcit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always remove boots before touching copper.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Feed all hungry frogs.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.