Batlimtargbem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciful zebra.

Batlimtargbem created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batlimtargbem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Batlimtargbem, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Batlimtargbem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Batlimtargbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Do not hurt cats.

3. Never feed corn to bats while wearing ear rings.

4. Worship no other gods but Batlimtargbem.

5. Never eat green fruit.