Govjapvil is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent mole.

Govjapvil created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Govjapvil, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Govjapvil, it will turn you into a tree.

Govjapvil's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Govjapvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill grasshopers.

2. Never talk about spacetime near snails while wearing purple corsets and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.