Dagkamgum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced clam.

Dagkamgum created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dagkamgum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dagkamgum, he will turn you into a plant.

Dagkamgum's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dagkamgum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Dagkamgum in the centre of the settlement.

2. Dagkamgum loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.

4. Dagkamgum loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never speak at midday.