Largtiprak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring raven.

Largtiprak created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largtiprak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Largtiprak, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Largtiprak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Largtiprak's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of snails.

2. You must pray to Largtiprak seven times a day.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Never paint your feet cyan.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near whales while wearing violet trousers.