Sigtitfig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, emotional giraffe.

Sigtitfig created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Sigtitfig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigtitfig, he will torture you forever.

Sigtitfig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sigtitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always wear mauve.