Gofmatgum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, idiotic sheep.

Gofmatgum created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofmatgum, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gofmatgum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gofmatgum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gofmatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Gofmatgum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never jump in the presence of shrews.